Author: Laura Graham

For One Time You Were in Darkness…

I bashed my not-quite 3 month old car into a gate today, and my first instinct was to pretend it didn’t happen. When the crunch stopped, and the gate closed behind me, I continued on my less-than-merry way. It took 4km for me to pull over and look at the damage, 4km to reject the voice telling me that what I don’t know can’t hurt me. Other ways my brain rushed to smooth it over: I schemed about where to park so people wouldn’t notice the dent, I resolved not tell my brunch-mates, and I debated even reporting what happened...

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Dodging Devotions

Finding it tricky to nail down morning devotions is hardly the stuff of guilt-ridden confession any more. The club it admits me to is large and accepting, citing forgiveness for failure and wisdom in recognising that different approaches work in different seasons. The rhetoric is compelling—try again. Keep going. Discipline doesn’t just happen, it hurts. Being a bit of a junkie for morning devotionals, this year has seen me playing to other peoples strengths. As well as Bible reading, I usually read 3 wildly different daily reflections: ‘Morning and Evening’ by Spurgeon, ‘My rock my refuge’ with Tim Keller...

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Out of Sorts

Today I am weary and my soul feels heavy. I feel the weight of choices made long ago and question if they were right. It catches me off-guard, this odd dread, not my usual comrade. As though my skin is a little bit thinner today, everything just under the surface. For some reason, I see the list before me of friends I have not kept in touch with or cared for well. With every name I explain the mitigating circumstances for, another rises to take its place. I see these failures of my generosity and grace before me, an...

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Of Control, Exams and Grace…

It has taken me a long time to realise that for me, exams are about a loss of control. I wake up stressed and exist in a state of low-level panic, never sure I’ve done enough to pass muster. There is no direct correlation between the work I put in and the outcome – after all, it could still be that the exam itself will ask for something I can’t give. After umpteen hours of formatting and printing and highlighting and summarising and coffee-drinking and underlining, I may not get over the line. I resent this perceived loss of...

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